Do you ever feel like the odds of teaching your toddler or preschooler algebra are higher than getting them to eat the green beans on their plate? If you answered “yes!” you are not alone. The toddler years are a time when your little one’s emotional development is a constant balancing act between the need to feel safe and protected by you and the desire to assert their independence and show you what they can do on their own.

Picky eating is a top concern parents voice when they see me in the office. The primary worry is the lack of nutrients that would normally come from eating, say, green, purple, and red foods. How do you convince them that there is life outside of mac and cheese? And how do you get them to sit long enough to eat a few bites? Here are some thoughts and tips for achieving eating success with your child.

Make Eating a Social Event

There’s a wealth of literature today that suggests that family dinners are not just about the food, but they can also be a practical tool in shaping your child's eating habits. It provides a dedicated time to be together, enjoying fun and laughter. You’re also setting an example with your eating habits. Children at this age are more aware of their surroundings and observe what you and the rest of the family are doing. When you associate this positive time with eating and make it enjoyable, your child’s attitude towards food and healthy eating may change.

The Way Young Kids and Adults Eat is Different

Many families approach nutrition from the adult perspective of a balanced diet. We are taught that every ideal meal must primarily contain fruits and vegetables with smaller portions of meat, grains, and dairy. Young kids don’t necessarily eat this way. Some days, every meal is peas, and the next day it’s chicken. But over the course of the week, if you step back and look at the foods your toddler ate, parents often find that their kids are eating a more balanced diet than they thought.

Let Kids Engage with Meal Preparation

Toddlers and younger children are naturally curious, so try to channel that into the meal preparation process to raise their investment in and willingness to try new foods. Depending on your child's age and development level, this can take various forms. You can take your child grocery shopping and make a game out of picking three new foods or choosing one food of each color in the produce section. At home, you can show how ingredients can be mixed to make something entirely different or have your toddler pick from several items to assemble a sandwich.

Serve Up a Colorful Plate

One of the most challenging issues when feeding toddlers is getting them to eat their fruits and vegetables. I recommend playing up their fascination with color and design. Serving hummus and veggies? Use the hummus as the center of the sun, with yellow peppers and carrots coming out as the sun’s rays. Add tomatoes and cucumbers to finish off the grass and flowers. Serving pancakes for breakfast? Add bananas and blueberries to make a happy face.

Limit Snacks and Drinks

Assuming your child is growing okay and there’s no concern about weight, it’s good to be mindful of snacks and drinks because we want kids to build hunger between meals. If they’ve been snacking throughout the afternoon, they won’t feel hungry enough to want dinner. The same is true for milk and fruit juices. Milk and juice have a lot of calories, so they can easily fill up your child and reduce hunger for other food. I recommend just water with meals, but if milk is the object of your child’s affection, wait until the end of the meal to let them drink milk.

Practice Patience and Persistence

At this age, young children are learning their sense of self and how to express their opinions. What they choose to eat is one of the few things they can control. The role of a parent of a toddler and young child is to offer healthy foods at healthy times, but it is their child’s decision as to what they will put in their body. As parents, we can fight them on that, but I try to remind parents that food and mealtimes should be a positive experience. Therefore, try not to stress about picky eating and avoid the negotiations of “just one more bite, and we can watch this.” While I know it’s hard, instead, focus on the “Wow, you tried this for the first time!” The goal at this age is to give kids some autonomy while pushing their boundaries and being supportive when they are willing to try something new. As long as they’re growing and developing fine, let go of the daily struggle, take the long view, and eventually, you will be successful.

When to Call Your Pediatrician

First of all, call us anytime! We are always here for you, and if you’re worried or unsure if all is well, please make an appointment. We typically don’t worry as long as your child is tracking as expected on the growth charts. Kids don’t grow as fast in the 2-6-year-old age range as they do when they’re younger or older and go through growth spurts. Therefore, they don’t need many calories and can usually weather the ups and downs of picky eating. We get concerned when kids begin to fall off the growth trajectory they established before age 2 and would want to look at that.

We also want to address any changes in potty habits early on. If there’s any concern about reactions to food, for example, if certain foods consistently cause diarrhea or constipation, maybe there’s an underlying allergy, and it’s not just picky eating but avoidance.

With humor, patience, and determination, you can successfully guide your picky eater to discover and enjoy many wonderful foods.